marriage

1) Commitment

Make sure your commitment to your marriage is 100%. Anything less may need a review. You have to make a conscious decision to make it work.

2) Compassion

As we are raised differently; differences in many areas including habits, opinions and views, are bound to exist between couples. Tolerance, patience, simplicity, and mutual compassion to our spouse is utmost crucial. To forgive is to be compassionate to self. To forgive is also to give the opportunity for correction, adjustment, and to re-water the flowering plant to bloom. Just as waters flowing in the river has to change its direction according to its path to prevent a flood; mutual compassion in a marriage is a constant adjustment for couples to move forward and stay on their life’s journey together.

3) Communication

Communication is important in our daily life, more so for a long lasting relationship. Communication leads tounderstanding, helps eliminate differences, and brings harmony to both and everyone around them. Learning how to agree is important. Agreeing to agree leads to harmony. When opinion is too strong for agreement, you must at least learn to “agree to disagree”. Yes, agreeing to disagree also leads to harmony. More important communication means respecting one another.

4) Commonality

In businesses, we try to understand what customers like so we have something common to talk and build trust to win their businesses. In a relationship, we have to try to come to common ground (remember agree to agree, and agree to disagree?). With commonality, our choice made with our partner becomes a shared choice/decision instead of being a one-way-traffic with no U-turn. If your partner is dominant, your agreement must be without resentment. Commonality in short, embraces differences and builds trust.

5) Choice

Yes, choice. Just as each of us has our differences, a relationship must not be strangling. We must respect our partner’s choice. Forcing them to be what you want them to be, is sure to fail. However, with a combination of all the other 4 points above you may be able to influence a change. But if it finally comes to a breaking point, and it is the best option to both, learn to accept his/her choice more so out of love for each other’s happiness; and to offer him/her kind wishes and blessings.

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